Let's rant more about Batgirls!
by Lancer Skytail
Summary: I'm back baby please insert liquor... No seriously I could use it. Anyway remember Dear Batman my rant about Robins? Now I rant about Batgirls. And dance around the fourth wall some more.


….I give up all my drafts seem to end up on the web so I might as well just leave these notes at the top of the page because well… You might want to read Dear Batman 2 again since I do refer to it… just a thought

Also since I keep bothering powerful people… possibly the last will and testament of Sky T Lancer (tots my real name)

I leave everything to my cat

Now that's out of the way

Dear Batman

We really need to talk about your sidekicks… oh wait we did that now we're on to your extended cast also known as the Batgirls now I would talk about Batwoman but hey… To be honest all I know about her is her name and that the art in the new comic looks really odd…

So Batgirl! This one for reference will be done character by character since only one Batgirl seems to ever make it into any other media.

Well first there was Betty Kane no seriously go look it up continuity may have changed but Wikipedia hasn't. Because of the homosexual tones between Batman and Robin (which were _totally_ imagined and everything… just thought I say before you try and kill me).

She was Kathy Kane's niece who because of -insert DC's excuse for continuity shifting for this week- became Flamebird

Wait… she was always Flamebird what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah Barbara Gordan… She debuted in the cartoon for the other reason everything happens "shit we're losing money add this character!"… Okay that was harsh because it did work and she was a good character actually she was my hero as a kid (what? 90's tv didn't seem to think a girl could have more than one personality trait)

Barbara Gordan was Commissioner Gordan's daughter (imagine that) well… unless you were watching the movies because then she was related to Alfred somehow (and to the great sadness of the male audience was the one hero in that film to not have nipples on their suit).

So after a career of kicking butt as a teenage hero hell she even dated a Robin Barbara got shot… Yeah…

Look I can't really blame you for this one Bats I mean wait I could I mean the Joker did it why is he still alive…. You know what it's going on the list of things for me to rant about at a later date right above Bat credit card and bellow "Nanobots how the Fuck do they work?"

So yeah she got shot we cried then she went fuck this and because an epic information broker called Oracle and still managed to kick ass and take names!

Then there was Helena Bertinelli who had the mantle for about as long as Tim Drake's Ex girl friend was Robin... It was basically a shit happened you told her to stop (or the fan reaction wasn't right see Jason Todd's death)

Then Cassandra Kane… Who… look Cassie is cool but come on her past is pretty rinse and repeat. I'll even show you the template

- was raised by a - and was taught- this meant - they were - - but then realized - and became good

**She** was raised by a **assassin** and was taught **to read body language not spoken** this meant **she could predict someone's moves** they were **sent to** **kill someone** but then realized **she didn't like it **and became good

But you know what she grew past that and because a really interesting character…. Until one of the writers went "well fuck all her development till this point she's evil!"…

And now she's in better place another city away from you and the rest of the Batfamily

…..Er is this a typo…. Stephanie Brown was Batgirl as well? Oh… She didn't last that long at this identity ether what a surprise.

And now continuity seems to have figured we don't care about her or something well I care about you Tim Drake's Ex girl friend… What was your name again?

So then Barbara Gordan was Batgirl again… How did she get out of the chair? Oh… New continuity with DC? Never! You know what I miss Tim Drake's Ex she was cool and it felt like stuff was going somewhere bring back What's her name.

So in conclusion maybe this one was less your fault Bat but maybe you should go back to the loner thing Gotham's youth population may thank you and how's that search for a child psychologist going?

From

Skytail


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